Losowe angielskie dowcipy

Managed Friendship Plan

Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features. How Does It Work?... [ca³y ->]

Another test

There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over for speeding, the cop asks," can I see your license and registration please!" The blonde responds, "license and registration what is that?" The cop respnds," you will find your license ... [ca³y ->]

A Letter From Barbie

************************* Chief Executive Officer Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA Dear Sir, Listen you little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid wea... [ca³y ->]

Dairy queen--whopper

How did the dairy queen get pregnant? The burger king showed her his whopper!!!... [ca³y ->]

Twins

Headline in today's newspaper: "Suicidal Twin kills sister by mistake"!... [ca³y ->]

Scary Seven

Whiy is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!... [ca³y ->]

Almost Love

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?"... [ca³y ->]

The Cat And the Milkman

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lu... [ca³y ->]

Condom Brands

Which condom would you use.... Nike Condoms: Just do it. Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling. Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby. Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop. Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker. Flintstones... [ca³y ->]

AMANDA!

WHAT ISA... [ca³y ->]

COMMAND REDUCTION OF ARMY PERSONNEL ( C.R.A.P. )

As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under CRAP, older soldiers will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of lower paid soldiers who represent the Army's future. A program to phase out... [ca³y ->]

Engineer and Guillotine

Today they're leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies... [ca³y ->]

3 Old-Timers...

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home. "Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that... [ca³y ->]

Wedding Announcement

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, le... [ca³y ->]

Coconut & hurricane

-What did the hurricane say to the coconut? -Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow job!... [ca³y ->]